Spotlight: Ella Fields' "Bloom"
A VISIONARY ROOTED IN AUTHENTICITY - Ella Fields cultivates a raw voice by touching on her personal experiences. Her latest project, “Bloom”, tackles healing from an instance of sexual assault, featuring one of Fields’ oldest loves; Claymation. Upon the release of the film, Fields took a moment to fill us in on the process of creating the project, her love of claymation, the catharsis within her projects and more. Watch “Bloom” below and read on to learn more about Ella Fields & her work.
LUNA: How did you get into creating claymation videos?
FIELDS: I first dabbled with claymation back in middle school, and I hated it. It was tedious, time consuming, and was the culprit of many tears and quarrels with my mother. I made everyone in my life promise to never let me do claymation again, and even my middle school film teacher rolls her eyes at me to this day. So here I am, only a few years later, and I decided to give claymation another shot for my film "Bloom." I knew that it would be the most authentic way to tell my story, and I was willing to potentially put myself through the wringer in order to come out on the other side with the greatest film possible.
LUNA: Why did you want to tell this story through claymation?
FIELDS: "Bloom" actually took very many forms before it became what you see today. I had been tinkering with various ways to tell this story for almost two years, but nothing seemed to fit. When the idea popped up to shoot it as a claymation, it all seemed to come together in my head. Clay is fragile and can mold easily, and I felt that this was a metaphor within itself. We cannot control the things that are thrown at us, so in turn, we must adapt to life as if we are clumps of clay. It felt delicate and precious to me, and also like something I could control with my hands and literally pour my sweat and tears into.
Also, clay serves as an excellent stress ball. Making "Bloom" as a claymation felt most important for my own healing process, for it was a process in which I could isolate and recover myself!
LUNA: I imagine this was a crazy and unique process - can you talk a bit about the creative process for “Bloom”? What was the actual filming process like?
FIELDS: Like I mentioned before, "Bloom" has been through a lot and has taken very many forms. Even after I locked my screenplay, I ended up cutting and altering things for the final version. I originally had a therapist scene in the beginning of the film that I shot around October, but at that time I was going through a lot and was extremely unmotivated. It was around then that I should have started shooting my claymation in order to have a smooth process and enough time, but I couldn't bring myself to begin.
It was around November that I finally decided that I needed to get my shit together. I broke up with my boyfriend, completely isolated myself from all of my friends, and spent hours in my garage.
The filming process was brutal, but once I got past the initial phase of feeling overwhelmed by my work load and not knowing what I was doing, it became a little more bearable. I would come home from school every day, eat a snack, usually cry for a few minutes, then get to work. I spent hours kneeling on the icy ground and hunched over a table; in the end I had two ribs out of place. It was December and the weather was cool (as cool as it can get in Los Angeles) so I would layer up with hoodies and fuzzy socks, although I still wear fuzzy socks when it is 100 degrees outside. The clay kept freezing though, so my dad bought me a space heater to keep it and myself warm. I found ways to make it enjoyable; I would listen to Ted Talks podcasts or old playlists from my freshman year of high school. I would watch the hours pass by like seconds, and as heartbroken I was during this time, I knew I was cultivating something amazing. I pushed through on "Bloom" harder than I have on any project before.
LUNA: What’s a favorite story you’d like to share from this process?
FIELDS: I am the type of person that has complete tunnel vision; it can be very beneficial if I aim it towards positive things, but I have always struggled with finding balance in my life. At the time, I was so invested in a relationship that I was in, that I wasn't able to focus on completing this film. It was the biggest dilemma that literally tore my heart into two, but ultimately I had to take the leap and decide what was best for me on my own individual life journey. I had just ended the relationship, and I was so insanely heartbroken, but through by tears, I lumbered into my garage to work on my film. I opened my laptop to continue shooting a flower scene that I had began the previous day, and all my work had been deleted without a trace.
I still have no idea how this happened, but at the time, I felt more hopeless than ever before. This was the moment when I knew there was no way I could do this. I have rarely cried harder in my life, for I was stripped down to nothing. I knew at the time though, that this was my turning point. When ending my relationship, he asked what the first thing I would do was, and I said "finish my film." I knew I had to complete it, if not for myself, then for everyone else in my life and for the people it had the potential to benefit. It seemed like a selfless choice, and with that thought, I stood up from the ground, grabbed my camera, and started shooting once again from ground zero. Looking back, I truly believe that was my fresh start, not just with the film, but as a person, although maybe those two things were the same.
LUNA: Why was this project important for you to make?
FIELDS: I have always been a believer that film and storytelling is the best kind of therapy. Sometimes, from an outside POV, it is easy to give others advice, but we have trouble applying it to our own lives. For me specifically, if there is a problem I am facing, I'll make a film about it and learn from my own characters. There was a situation I had gone through about two years prior to making this film. It was something that made me extremely uncomfortable, but instead of talking about it and getting help, I stayed silent and shoved it down which only made it worse. I felt ashamed and embarrassed to have experienced it and kept dismissing it as "not that big of a deal," but it just lingered and would pop up unexpectedly.
I always knew that making a film on sexual assault was my next mission, and it took me over a year to actually make it. Back in the midst of my first attempts, I was so confused on why I couldn't follow through with this project! I wanted to inspire people to speak up with dignity, but I then realized that I hadn't done what I needed to for myself and with my situation. So I decided that before I could move forward with my film, I had to finally be open about what happened to me. It was terrifying, but I did, and I was more than happy with the amount of support I received. It felt like a big hug, and I knew that I could finally urge other people to allow themselves that support as well.
LUNA: What do you want people to know about “Bloom”?
FIELDS: Ultimately, I made "Bloom" to help people move past situations of assault, to start a conversation, and also to help people feel as if they are apart of something. The voiceover at the end saying, "It is not your fault," is done by 10 or so people, all who have had instances of sexual assault. I posted the opportunity on Instagram and was amazed by the abundance of responses. It is such a shame how many people this happens to, but it is also inspiring to see how many brave people are willing to speak up about their situations with pure honestly. By allowing these people to be apart of my project, I can only hope that my healing process is their healing process, and that they will inspire others as well! It really is a beautiful ripple effect.
LUNA: How can projects like “Bloom” play a role in the conversation around sexual assault and recovery?
FIELDS: I believe that the first step towards recovery is having the strength to be open about it, and that definitely doesn't come easily, especially by yourself. My hopes are that someone will watch "Bloom" and think, "Wow. This really represents what I am going through." Maybe then, they will turn to the comment section and see that there are so many more people who feel the same way. Small interactions like these can definitely serve a purpose. They make you feel a little bit less crazy and a little bit less alone. Reaching out for help isn't as simple as it seems, but my greatest wishes are that my film can be the first syllable of an ongoing conversation, and it is our responsibility to keep the conversation going.
LUNA: Where would you like your art, and something like “Bloom” to take you as a creative?
FIELDS: It is always so difficult to predict what will manifest in the future, so I always try and take my life one moment at a time, as well as one project at a time. If I sit down and breathe, my mind never fails to tell me what the right thing to do is. I hope to always maintain this sense of the present moment, and I know that if I can keep creating what my heart wants every day, I will end up where I am meant to be! It's really fascinating not to know where that is; it is all apart of the fantastic journey that is being a creative person!
LUNA: This is a huge piece of work to have under your belt - congrats! Do you have any plans in the works for your new project?
FIELDS: Thank you! :~) I just finished up a screenplay about a girl who is leaving for college when she finds a box of all her old children's stories, and as she reads them, she relates them to her childhood and teenage years. My favorite thing in the world is witnessing people reminiscing on their childhoods, so I really hope that this one gives my audience a sweet walk down memory lane!
