Q&A: Zevia Confronts Fleeting Happiness Within Turbulence in “something I can’t do”
☆ BY kristian gonzales ☆
BRACING FOR THE STORM — up-and-coming singer-songwriter Zevia goes to depths very few artists will go to catch a full grip on their mental health. Beginning the next chapter of her story after the release of her debut project, we’re all sad here, and inclusion in People Magazine’s Spring 2023 Emerging Artists list, she returns with “something I can’t do,” a somber ballad continuing her catalog of soulful songs with mournful introspection.
With only rich piano chords and Zevia’s haunting vocals, the single encapsulates the clouds within the singer-songwriter’s mind as she struggles to fathom fleeting moments of happiness amidst her ongoing battle with depression. Laid out through lines such as “But everything great is never as good / ’Cause everything that’s great is always misunderstood,” Zevia makes no bones about questioning her perception on her life.
“When someone’s been sad for a long time and bad things happen to them continuously, good things that come unexpected could be just as bad, as they’re not used to it,” Zevia says of the song. “Sometimes depressed people pray for good, but for me even the good can be bad. I can’t allow myself peace, otherwise I don’t know who I’d truly be.”
Carrying a heavy heart, Zevia unpacks details on the process behind the single and the balance between her emotional well-being and her trajectory as a musician. Read the interview below.
LUNA: It’s nice to meet you, Zevia! First, can you take us through how you initially developed your passion for music and realized how immersive it can get emotionally?
ZEVIA: I don’t think I ever developed a passion for music — I think it’s always been there. Music has been a part of who I am for so long. I don’t remember when I started singing or picking up a guitar randomly, but I know I was very young. My mom kept a guitar under her bed when I was very little and I always tried to steal it, so music has always just been so connected to me in ways I can't explain.
I realized how immersive it can get emotionally as soon as I started hitting depression and writing songs about it. I always wondered whether or not people would listen to my music if I shared it with the world. One day I had to say screw it and just do it, and now I have thousands of listeners and a loving fanbase that grows more and more every day.
LUNA: When you began songwriting, did you already know it could be your outlet to showcase all of your true self, or did it take time to open up within your work?
ZEVIA: I always knew since [I was] a child that music would be what I wanted to do for the rest of my life, but as I grew up it definitely took me time to open [up] within my work. It was extremely hard to be so vulnerable in the beginning with no fanbase at all… I didn’t know what people were going to think.
LUNA: Going through your debut, we’re all sad here, it strikes me how raw and unashamed you are in revealing your mindstate. From the reception of the project, was there any sense of anxiousness or pride in seeing that your music could be therapeutic for a lot of people sharing your circumstances?
ZEVIA: A lot of people say that my songs on the EP are too strong, or that it’s influencing people into doing the wrong thing. Getting those messages is probably the most anxious to hear, when my music is only ever supposed to be therapeutic and nothing more. The most surprising thing is people saying I saved their lives. I never thought I could have that effect on strangers from all around the world, but it does happen to be the best feeling that I don’t think I would trade for anything else.
LUNA: On top of that, is there a boost of confidence or creative inspiration from being listed on People Magazine’s Spring 2023 Emerging Artists?
ZEVIA: It's definitely a boost of confidence, considering … that it’s still fresh and just happened, so it all seems surreal. It took a while to process, but it felt good to see my face on People Magazine. Sometimes I forget that I have a lot of potential, and having things like that happen is a reminder of my worth.
LUNA: What sparked the inspiration for your new song, “something I can’t do”?
ZEVIA: I really went into the studio that day and just wrote how I felt. There was no plan — just a rhythm and a feeling. It ended up being a song about both happiness and sadness. I feel like they can both be just as painful sometimes. [There’s] the line “If i lived up to be where I am, and gave it all away / Would I do it all again?” meaning, if I gave away every year I’ve lived, would I do it all again if I was given the chance? Which is a question I still can’t seem to answer. Because the good and bad in my life affects me the same way in my head, so I don’t think it would be any easier if I could do it all again, even if that means it could be different.
LUNA: What are some notable lyrics that took you some time to process as you were writing them?
ZEVIA: In “life I’m over you” I wrote, “When I turn 19, I might feel like I’m flying.” That line didn’t necessarily mean I would be gone by 19, but it definitely meant I would be even more numb than I felt at 18, as well as all my previous teen years. I was hardcore pessimistic towards myself and didn’t feel like I was going down the right route. So those lyrics took a little time to process considering I didn’t know what to mean there entirely.
LUNA: Alongside your recent singles, including “poison” and “why me,” what can fans expect from you in the future?
ZEVIA: I think what I have in store for the future is a different form of myself. I have a lot of growth to do but in the last three years I can definitely say my music has changed a lot. From doing it in my bedroom with nothing but a pen and paper and a cheap microphone with an old Chromebook, [to] now getting the chance to be in the studio and work with so many different people. It all makes me vibe differently.
I have so many exciting songs I have yet to share, but making music every single day and putting it in the studio the next is an amazing experience. “Poison” and “why me” are my most mature and recent singles, so I plan on making more just as heartfelt. And even though the road can get rocky with songwriting, it’s always something to look forward to. You never know what you walk into when you sit down and write, and that can be the worst at times, or the best part.
