Q&A: Xavier Omär Shares His Open and Honest Feelings in His Most Recent Single “Feelings 4 You”
CONFESSING TO A CRUSH CAN BE A VERY DAUNTING SITUATION — with that constant question of “Do they or do they not like me back?” going through your mind, your body trembling with anxiety as you approach them. Regardless of the outcome, you feel relieved, or maybe embarrassed. But either way, you told them how you felt, which is probably the bravest thing anyone can do. Xavier Omär revisited these feelings he had towards his now-wife in his most recent single, “Feelings 4 You.” This heartfelt track traverses through the experience of taking a risk with love and telling your crush your real feelings. Inspired by his own relationship with his wife, Omär imagines how different his life would be if he was never open and honest about his feelings for her.
Omär is a singer-songwriter who wants to be remembered as “a risk-taker, a classic voice. An artist that blurs musical lines. A fearless dreamer.” With his father in the military, Omär moved around a lot as a child, but San Antonio, TX is what he calls home. Growing up, his mother and siblings sang and played drums and piano, as his father was a writer, producer, and minister of music at church. This led Omär to write and produce his first song on a four-track tape recorder at the age of 12. He then went through a short period of discouragement after auditioning for the eleventh season of “American Idol” in Houston and not making it past the preliminary judging round.
With “Proving ‘American Idol’ wrong!” on his list of goals, Omär saved up to buy music equipment and began making music again. 2019 was the year for the singer-songwriter, as he released his EPs, Hours Spent Loving You, which he partnered with Sango on, as well as The Everlasting Wave, A Late February, and Pink Lighting. Omär then followed up with his critically- acclaimed full-length album, if You Feel, on RCA records, which landed him on NPR’s The Best Music of 2020 with critics stating that the album is “the perfect blend of traditional and experimental R&B … his greatest work to date,” declaring Omär as “on a clear path to R&B greatness.” Recently, Omär released one of his newest singles, “Feelings 4 You” on May 20, along with “Tarantino,” which dropped today. Both songs will be featured on his new EP titled b l u r r releasing on July 22.
Read more down below to get to know Xavier Omär and his artistry.
LUNA: It’s nice to meet you, Xavier! How are you these days?
OMÄR: I am in a whirlwind. Still managing everything, like becoming a new father! My wife and I are new parents to our baby girl — she's six months! And as soon as you think you're getting the hang of something, she's doing something else. So we're learning that and progressing in that. But between just being a parent, still trying to create, and still having a social life, I'm in a whirlwind right now (laughs). But I am doing well! So that's what matters.
LUNA: How would you describe your artistry to an audience who isn't familiar with you?
OMÄR: I would say, more than anything, I make music that I want to be tangible when you hear it. So [with] the emotion, I try not to over-explain too much in the music because I want you to feel more than anything. From the production that I choose to the words that I'm saying, I always want those to match. And I want it to be where you can put yourself in the place of the artist even if you've never gone through whatever the subject is about and still be able to feel it. That's kind of the viewpoint that I have when I make the music. So, really, I would say my artistry is just about feeling and being able to either have sympathy or empathize with someone in that situation.
LUNA: Congrats on your newest single “Feelings 4 You”! Can you tell us more about it?
OMÄR: Well, there's not that much to say, legitimately. I wrote it based on the situation of me and my wife when we were still just friends. At least two times, I tried to … get with her. And she told me no (laughs). I don't want to say I was friend-zoned, but definitely she wasn't trying to be with me. So I was being very legitimate in just being her best friend. But also, when women tell me no, it's okay, I understand; I don't circle back. I just didn't believe her in particular (laughs). And I don't know. I mean, I know why now. But at the time, I didn't understand why I didn't believe her. I just felt that one last time. And this song is really me doing that one big final plea of just trying to make us happen.
The funny thing is that the song doesn't give you a real conclusion. You just kind of assume maybe things worked out. But in actuality, she told me no again. I remember because it was the first day of my headlining tour. I started getting stuff ready for the tour the very next day; I was just going about my day and I think it was five days into the tour. I got to her city — because we lived in different cities at the time. So, five days into the tour we got to the city that she lived in and once we saw each other, I think [this] is when it just clicked more for her. After I've just put this big flurry of emotion out there and her seeing me face to face. I think it just all connected. That day, I believe, is when we literally started dating. She explained to me that she was just fighting something that she knew she wanted but wasn't sure how to go about it. For me, I was just swinging for the fences hoping for the best. So that's what the song is really about. It's a real-life situation. And it ended well! We’re married, so that works! (laughs)
LUNA: What should we expect from your upcoming EP?
OMÄR: I have a hard time trying to help people manage their expectations when it comes to my music because I do just about any and everything. I think if you listen to my last album, if You Feel, you can hear it all throughout. We started out in an unexpected way, doing kind of a house-style record. But there's also a ’90s R&B–style record on there. But there's also experimental and traditional R&B. I go all over the place in general. So I would just tell people to not even necessarily expect anything sound-wise — just come in with an open mind and open heart. If you like my music already, you know that anything can happen, and hopefully these records connect with you. If you are a first-time listener, then maybe you get an opportunity to walk through my role and see how things don't always feel the same or always kind of live in the same space. Each of my emotions… I feel like they have to be presented in the way that they really feel. So one style of production doesn't cover all that. I just want people to be open about it.
LUNA: Can you break down your creative process?
OMÄR: I tend to work right here in my house, for the most part, which I would like to get away from. Typically, I'm home and I've got my little setup here at the house. Because I'm home, producers will send me records. We'll talk and just try to work together about what we want to happen. But they'll send me records and I'll either give them suggestions of what to change, change it around myself, or I’ll hit some of my musician friends up and have them add things like “Feelings 4 You” did. I always start there with the production, and most times I start with the production. Sometimes I already have something in mind like a melody and I'll have it in a voice note and then try to create from there and send it to producers. But in either one of those situations, once I get the idea, I’ll just start humming out a melody or just trying to find a rhythm or a cadence of something. And so, I get a subject that actually makes sense to me with the beat, with the feeling of it. Once I get that, I love to write. I love writing songs. I will sit there and write the entire song before I even record, which isn't always a good idea because you can lose good melodies that way. But I just get so focused because I love to do it! I typically end up writing the whole song right then and there. Then I'll go in and start trying to record it, see how it fits and what I need to change. So the process for me is really just kind of low-key basic (laughs). I'm just … humming. Most people will hum over a record and put the lyrics. But I like to finish the whole song if I can. I don't like bouncing around from song to song and mood to mood — I want to live in the moment and create and finish the whole song. So that's what I do!
LUNA: How will this upcoming EP compare to your previous work?
OMÄR: I don't really know. I don't personally like to try to compare too much because those are different times of life. I think for the time of life that I'm in, it makes perfect sense. But that may not always be the same as the listener. I know people love to compare projects by, “Oh, it was better when they were this way or when they did this!” and I see that all the time when people talk about Kendrick, Cole, and Drake. But at the end of the day, I compare it to where I am right now. [I ask myself,] “Does it feel like where I am? Does it convey the message?” and if the answer to those questions is “Yes,” then I'm able to give from where I am. I think I can give from there clearly so that people can also understand the feeling. Even if it's a mixed emotion — if it's melancholy, if it's up, if it's down, if it's hopeful — I'm able to express that feeling clearly in this time of my life. So I think the only way that you really could compare it to other projects is that I was able to show a different time and not necessarily be doing the exact same thing as I've always done.
LUNA: You live in the present moment. I feel like a lot of us need to be that way — living in the present.
OMÄR: The music is really the only way I can do it. It’s just being able to sit down and say, “This is how I’m feeling,” or, “This is what’s going on,” or, “This is what I’ve been able to process.” It's not like therapy but it’s a way for me to see where I am.
LUNA: I saw your Tiny Desk (Home) Concert — how was that experience?
OMÄR: I was super nervous! Incredibly! Number one, I didn't get the venue I wanted. I was trying to recreate the feeling of Tiny Desk so I was trying to get the San Antonio Library and we had it until two days before the event … we didn't have it anymore. I mean, I was more than happy to be at Rosella, where we were, because I like that place. Side note, they closed. I’m pretty sad about that. I really liked it there because it was just cool to be able to do anything recognizable from the city of San Antonio. I wasn't born here and I didn't even grow up here but as an artist, I've been able to make my way here, and I've never been supported more than I feel anywhere else. Usually, if you’re a hometown kid or if you represent the area in any kind of way or you're trying to make something of yourself, everyone just kind of looks at you like, “You're just one of us.” And to a degree, that's still true. But here in San Antonio, when I would go out and do open mics, people were just receptive. They led me to feel like I'm bigger than I even was at the time. So being able to represent the city meant a whole lot. And I didn't want to mess that up on the biggest opportunity. I had to represent the city. It was nerve-racking — there was a bunch of COVID testing on-site that we were doing, and there was a lot of sitting and waiting for the results of the COVID testing. They didn't tell us that they were not just COVID testing but they were doing sickness tests, so when they came back red for a few people, they were like, “Dang, I got COVID, we have to go,” so we had a lot going on that day. The cool thing about the home concerts is you can do takes. I got the nervousness out at first and we were able to go back and run everything twice. I just wanted it to be as good as it could be. It was a cool opportunity. It was fun. It was always in my head so I was super nervous, but it's something I would love to do again if they ever opened the office back up.
LUNA: What brings you joy?
OMÄR: For me, personally, joy can only come from God. You live long enough to learn the difference between happiness and joy. Happiness goes with joy, and joy stays. Joy doesn't mean I'm always happy. But joy to me is a synonym of hope or just being able to be an anchor. Because I know that when things aren't good, it’s the joy within me knowing that God is for me. Knowing the things God has for me, I know things are going to change. Not that things are always going to be happy, but whatever is happening to me is happening for me and that it’s working for my good. So, in the essence of joy, I can't equate it to anything outside of God. But the things that bring me extreme happiness… I am an avid sports person. If you take me to a live game, let me watch LeBron play ball, let me play PS5 for hours uninterrupted, let me go to a web live event — all that stuff — I’m happy. I'm not a jock, but I love sports stuff. I'm just super into it. And obviously, the music and going out and performing live. I love writing and I love performing. I love those the most. I hate recording. It's trash (laugh). You gotta listen to how bad you are several times. But I love live performing, and I can’t wait to get back out there.
LUNA: Any upcoming plans for 2022?
OMÄR: Oh, man, I am hoping to get back on the road. We're making plans to figure out the best way to do that. I definitely want to get back out there using this EP as an excuse to just get on stage again and just be with the people. So I'm excited. I'm going to continue working on music, of course — I want to build toward an album for next year. That kind of sounds funny saying right now during this time of life. I don't know how to get an album out of me right now, but that's what I want to do. I'm going to always continue working on music. I plan on dropping singles after this EP as well. On the life side of things, we're in San Antonio right now — we've been here the last three years — but I'm moving to Dallas. I can't wait to get up there. We'll be moving in a few months. So I'm excited to learn new areas, meet new people and see what happens in my day-to-day life.
LUNA: Question for fun: You have to sing karaoke, what song do you pick?
OMÄR: Oh, “Take on Me” by A-ha! I'm not one of those people that just because I can sing that I'm trying to sing great at karaoke. That's not what karaoke is for. That's what open mic night is for. At karaoke, you can sing as horrible as you can and just have fun screaming notes (laughs). I don't have to be, but I'd prefer to be a little tipsy for that song (laughs). Because it's so fun … it's incredible.
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