Q&A: From Heartache to Healing: Tay Redefines Self-Love in "Bare Minimum"
THE MOST IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIP IS THE ONE YOU HAVE WITH YOURSELF — R&B songstress Taylor Marie Contarino, who goes by the name Tay, fuses her expertise in R&B and traditional singer/songwriter techniques, as she releases “Bare Minimum” – a complex, healing anthem about unreciprocated effort and relationships. In this intimate confessional, Tay bares her soul as she navigates the aftermath of a past relationship marked by imbalance and unfulfilled expectations.
The two-part structure of “Bare Minimum” allows Tay to showcase her masterful storytelling. Part 1 one contains an honest, heartfelt reflection about an ex-partner’s disrespect. The riveting interlude, heavily inspired by Billie Eilish’s “Not My Responsibility,” delivers a cutthroat message to both listeners and Tay’s younger self. “Do you really want to continue watching your energy go unreciprocated?” she asks. Its nature as a turning point in Tay’s experience is reflected on the motion-blurred cover, which represents moving forward. Part two layers assertive lyrics against an increasingly pulsating beat, using an unanswered voice message from Tay’s ex to create a climax. Tay lets out her frustration and anger into tight bars as she triumphantly moves on.
“I have finally realized that sometimes in life, you need to put your own self respect over your love and feelings for someone else, even when it’s incredibly difficult,” Tay says. “Choosing yourself, putting yourself first is not easy by any means, but it certainly is freeing.”
At the heart of "Bare Minimum" lies a message of empowerment and resilience. Through soul-stirring melodies and heartfelt lyrics, Tay imparts the wisdom that self-love is paramount – the foundation upon which all other forms of love are built. In a world where external validation often takes precedence, Tay's raw honesty serves as a guiding light, reminding listeners of the importance of nurturing one's own sense of worth and acceptance.
LUNA: Thank you for talking to Luna . Our readers would love to get to know you and your music more. For any readers who aren’t familiar with you, what inspires your creative persona and style?
TAY: I would say that the people that inspire my own personal style are Miss Lauryn Hill, Erykah Badu, Jhené Aiko, Teyana Taylor and Summer Walker because she's one of my biggest inspirations. Summer and Jhené are my favorite people ever because their music has made me feel really seen, especially at times when I maybe felt a little bit too vulnerable to share certain parts of myself. Summer Walker and Jhené Aiko have shown me that you can create such beautiful art just from being vulnerable with yourself and not being afraid to put yourself and your heart out there because it can be a scary thing once you do it, you’re free.
LUNA: Say if someone hasn't heard of your music yet, which song would you introduce them to that best encapsulates your artistic growth and maturity?
TAY: The song that I would introduce a new listener to would actually be my first song “Tough Love,” which I never meant to make that a song. I was just in my feelings one day and I was in my childhood bedroom and was thinking about this boy, and I ended up writing a song about how I was feeling at the time and it turned out to be my first song ever, but I never meant for that to happen. I feel like it's a really catchy song. It's the first song that I ever executed from start to finish. It's what made me start music in the first place. I started music totally by accident. I was working in the industry. I never meant to actually make music. I didn't even know how to make music and then one day, it just happened when I was listening to LoFi beats, and at first I was really just listening for pleasure, and then all of a sudden I started writing my feelings out and I realized how healing songwriting can be.
LUNA: You released your latest single “Bare Minimum,” what is the inspiration behind the track and what did the creative process look like?
TAY: The “Bare Minimum” track is a part of a much larger EP that’s going to be four tracks long which will be released on April 26. Again, I did not intend to make that song. I didn't even intend to continue making music but then I was really going through it in a relationship that I was in. I was realizing that I was giving that person 100% of me and they were giving me 0%. Unfortunately, they were giving me the barest of minimums and I was giving them my heart and soul, so the inspiration from that song really came from realizing that I was being treated in a way that I don't deserve to be treated. I realized that I was being breadcrumbed. I realized that I was giving so much of myself. I was jumping over lakes for someone who would not hop over a puddle for me. I'm a poet as well. I just released my first poetry book back in November, so I was writing a poem one day and I wrote the words, ‘the sensation was good, but it wasn't enough,’ because I feel like a lot of people think that relationships can be based on a foundation of physicality, but that's really not true because that's not sustainable. I wrote down in the words, ‘physicality is just bare minimum, what more can I do to keep your attention,’ and I really just started getting emotional and I ended up recording a demo that night. I found myself crying afterwards because it felt very freeing to say the words out loud. It's a lot of pain when you realize that you're doing so much for someone that's not reciprocating that energy. So when I wrote those lyrics, it really was just freeing and I somehow ended up finishing the song that night and then I found an amazing producer KillaHrtz, and he helped me bring the vision to life and he made me feel really safe throughout the process. I was really able to be my most vulnerable self after the first song. I still felt like I had a lot to say about the situation because it obviously progressed, so I ended up writing part two, which is more about the healing process after realizing the hurt, and then I also wrote an interlude and an outro as well. I think it makes for a beautiful story of realizing your worth and then figuring out that you need to not only realize your worth but also act on it.
LUNA: Does “Bare Minimum” set the tone for the rest of the new music to follow and if so, what can listeners expect from this new era of music?
TAY: “Bare Minimum” part one definitely sets the tone for this era. I'm always writing about my life and the things that happened to me and there's a line in that song that goes ‘it was for the plot / maybe I'm a lot / but I deserve a lot / thought you were the one but you're not.’ I really do write about everything that happens to me. I would definitely say this era is definitely based off of the premise of “Bare Minimum” part one, but I actually have a lot of unreleased music I've been working on as well. I'm excited for this EP because I've been working so hard on it from the time I wake up in the morning till the time I go to bed to be quite honest. I also have some other songs that I wrote about other things that are going on in life at the same time. Another song that I wrote is about my grandfather and finding out recently that he has cancer, so I wrote a song called “God's Business” when he was in the hospital and I was really hurting, so I’ve been using music to heal. The other day I actually wrote my first love song and it's called “Pisces Season” and I'm working on that as well.
LUNA: Did you take any creative risks or experiment more either lyrically or sonically with “Bare Minimum” compared to your previous releases such as “Tough Love” and “Guard Up.”
TAY: I would definitely say so. There's a spoken word part where I'm not necessarily singing, but I'm speaking so I'm really excited to see how listeners take that. There were a couple of riffs here that I really liked, especially in the opening part of “Bare Minimum” part one, I included my friend Alias’ voice memos recordings. I also really like the bridge in this song and I'm proud of the attitude that I put into this song. I don't really have an attitude. I'm actually a really nice person and I would never say something crazy, but it's funny the way that music opens you up and allows you to say things that you would not actually say in real life.
LUNA: What messages or emotions do you hope listeners can take away from your upcoming EP?
TAY: My favorite part of this EP is 100% the “Bare Minimum” interlude and I cried when I made that interlude because it was me telling myself all the things that I need to do and all the things I need to stop doing as well. Over the past couple years, I've really started to gain a sense of self worth. I didn't always have that. In the “Bare Minimum” interlude, it's me convincing not only myself, but also the listener that you have inherent worth. If someone is treating you with bare minimum energy and they're not reciprocating the effort that you're putting into them, clearly they don't need to be in your life. I've found that in a lot of my relationships, sometimes that energy goes unreciprocated, maybe because I give a little too much. In this EP, I really taught myself that I need boundaries and self respect. There is going to be someone out there that will reciprocate your energy and maybe it's not who you thought it was. Maybe that's painful, but you have to treat yourself with self respect. Your biggest relationship and the most important relationship at the end of the day is going to be the one you have with yourself, and if you establish a repertoire with yourself and you respect yourself, people will see that. People will recognize that and will honor that and they'll treat you the way that you treat yourself. The more that I've started showing people that I'm confident in myself and I love myself, the less I've been receiving this disrespect. When it comes to relationships, this EP from start to finish has really taught me that you have to show yourself love even if the person that you wanted that love from is not giving it to you.
LUNA: What kind of atmosphere or emotional space do you aim to create for your listeners?
TAY: I really want my listeners to feel seen, represented and heard. I really love vulnerable music. When I first started doing music, it was so damn scary because the people that I'm making the music about are the people that are close to me. Music is an outlet and it's healing, so at first that vulnerability was terrifying because I'm a person who oftentimes is afraid to tell people how I really feel, so I put those feelings, emotions, honesty and authenticity into my music. The only way you can really find out how I'm really feeling is through my music because that's the only outlet I feel safe being truthful with. I hope that that resonates with my listeners. I really pray that people feel seen and heard like the way that Summer Walker and Jhené Aiko make me feel like I'm able to take up space. I hope that the music that I make makes people feel like they can also be truthful and stand in their truth and say how they’re not afraid to be vulnerable because vulnerability is something I've struggled with for a long time.
LUNA: “Bare Minimum” obviously touches on unhealthy relationships. How do you turn that energy around and show self-love to yourself?
TAY: I love that question and I love self-love. My freshman year of college, I was so depressed and my only identity or sense of identity I had was being the president of the DECA business club or a cheerleader, that's all I knew myself as. When the pandemic took everything I knew away, I was literally left with nothing. It's actually really scary to think about it like I had no freaking idea who I was. I let myself get disrespected so much and I probably gave off that energy that I was insecure. Now, I love myself because I've worked so hard to grow that self-love for myself. I've made a lot of promises to myself and I've learned what it's like to stay true to those promises. I've been able to build my confidence by saying I'm going to do things and then doing it. Even transferring to USC, they rejected me on the communications for directing me two times before I got in and I thought I was never going to get here. The day that I finally got in after countless weeks of just working my ass off at Syracuse, after I made that promise to myself, I was like damn I can do anything I put my mind to. From that point on, I promised to put myself first and I’m going to take care of myself and make sure I’m eating everyday and getting enough sleep. I do yoga, I meditate and I love to run. I just ran the LA Marathon. Running has become such an outlet for me. I love to dance and just shake around and have a good old time with my friends, even if it's just in our living room. I feel like in a lot of ways music has saved me because it's become my outlet and it's also given me a sense of identity because when I make art, it's like I'm physically bringing all the things that I feel to life and bringing all of those physical things to manifestation, and it's been a really beautiful healing journey. I genuinely think a lot of my confidence also has come from just taking care of myself and getting enough sleep and eating enough food.
LUNA: What is your wildest dream as an artist? If you can have one thing happen (a milestone or dream collaboration you hope to achieve in your career), what would that look like for you?
TAY: I just want to be in a room with people who listen to my music and hang out and drink tea. There's no crazy ambitions, I just love that I'm making music. I imagine one day just hanging out with people who listen to my music and we can just all drink tea together and share stories.
LUNA: How are you feeling in this current era of your career and what does the rest of the year look like for you that you would love to share with Luna?
TAY: Honestly, this era for me looks like rebirth because I had quit music for a couple years after I released that one song. This new area is definitely a rebirth for me because I had given up because I was so anxious over music at the time. My friend Rachel asked me why I gave up on music and she sent me paragraphs explaining why I need to keep going. I think the one thing that stuck out that she said was like, you know there might be other people who feel the way you feel and if you give up, what does that mean for them? I love all the things I'm doing but if I don't return to music, it's almost going to show my little siblings that they can't follow their dreams either. And if it's one thing I'm gonna stand on, it's going to be helping my siblings, like I love my siblings so damn much. They're the lights of my life. I need to show them that they can follow their dreams too. My little sister says to me all the time that she wants to be a ballerina and my mom would shoot her down. I’ll go up to her and say we need to sign you up for ballet lessons and figure it out. I've started reciprocating that same energy with myself. I used to be so afraid of investing in music because it seems so unlikely and improbable, but then I decided I'm going to start taking vocal lessons. I'm going to start investing into my music. I'm going to start buying beats and I decided that I need to take the love that I'm searching for in others and invest it in myself. If I keep going there's no way that I could lose.
