Q&A: Stella Bridie Calls Out the Deafening Silence of Bystander Apathy on New Single “He Didn’t Mean It”
RELEASING HER FIRST SONG IN TWO YEARS — Naarm/Melbourne-based songwriter and vocalist Stella Bridie has returned with a vengeance. Her latest single, “He Didn’t Mean It,” is a passionate indie-rock anthem with a confrontational message about accountability and complicity in women’s suffering.
Coated in her ethereal vocals, pop influence and dark ambiance reminiscent of Ethel Cain, Bridie’s venomous lyrics leave a highly emotional yet freeing impact on its listeners. She executes the difficult subject with a true sense of catharsis, touching on the apathetic stance of bystanders and the desensitization of violence against women with an incredible build-up and mantra-like chorus.
The chorus, in which she sings the title repeatedly followed by, “Everyone deserves a second chance/ To wash the blood off of their hands,” is simple yet powerful. According to Bridie, the title comes from her own experiences of hearing men’s actions excused, no matter how grave the outcome.
“What it implies is that the person being harmed, the ‘it,’ is not worth the discomfort of confrontation or conflict,” she said. “This song argues that it is, that it has to be.”
Companied by a stunning music video directed and produced by Olivia Fleming and Kii Belling, the song's gradual build-up — much like the gradual build-up of healing and letting go — pairs perfectly with the visual of Bridie burning her gown to the explosive synthy outro of the song.
In this exclusive interview, we spoke to Bridie about the journey of this track, her creative process, the inspiration behind the music video and what’s to come next for her discography. Check out the interview below.
LUNA: Could you walk me through your creative process? What does your songwriting and production process usually look like?
BRIDIE: I live and die by the Notes app. I’m a big dweller, and I really like a good long walk, so often a lyric and vocal melody idea will come to me in that context, and I usually need to write the full song out just with lyrics before I bring an instrument into it. Once I’ve got a voice memo of the concept, I’ll take it to a producer. It’s normally a lot more important for us to establish the feeling of the song first, rather than deciding it’s going to sound a particular way; the former informs the latter.
LUNA: When did you first get the idea to compose “He Didn’t Mean It”? Has this song been a work in progress for a while, or did it come to you on a whim? What brought about its inspiration?
BRIDIE: I started writing the song in April 2021. The lyrics happened very quickly and really haven’t changed much across the process of making the song since then — it all felt very complete from the beginning. Ultimately, the song isn’t really about the “he”; it’s directed at the “you” character, the bystander.
LUNA: When working on the production itself, what tone were you trying to achieve sonically? Did you have something specific in mind for this theme?
BRIDIE: When Gene Argiro and I started working on it, we wanted to build up the atmosphere and synths on the track before we added in guitar so that it didn’t feel restricted to a particular sound. Because it was 2021 in Victoria, we were working in between lockdowns and sending versions of the track back and forth when we couldn’t meet up in person. When Gab Strum and I opened the track back up at the end of 2023, we wanted to keep the catharsis of the track intact but refine the structure a little, and really make sure that every moment of build hit in a different way.
LUNA: Did you face any challenges when composing this track? Maybe difficulty with the execution of the track or even emotional challenges?
BRIDIE: I definitely wanted to put the track away a few times during the demo process, when Gene and I were in the demo process; thankfully they convinced me to bring it back out. Getting the right tone and emotional quality in the vocal was also a bit complicated. We re-did them three or four times, and each time I was trying to get myself into a particular mindset to get the right delivery, and pulling myself back out of that was an interesting challenge.
LUNA: Do you have a favorite lyric, verse, or moment from this song or making it in general? Was it cathartic for you in any way?
BRIDIE: I think the catharsis more comes from playing the song; singing “I saw that motherfucker” live always feels a bit fun and explosive as an opening line. I also love the synth line that comes in during that huge bridge, there’s something so lonely about it.
LUNA: The visuals and the vindictiveness of the third verse is such a stand-out on this track. I interpreted the “murder shows” and the “vultures” you speak of to reference the desensitization and morbid fascination of violence against women in media. Was this what you were aiming for? Could you elaborate on the imagery you were trying to portray?
BRIDIE: Yeah, I was definitely working through a lot of frustration about true crime and the rhetoric it inspires; that there’s so little said about this kind of violence unless it can be sensationalized and profited off of. In that verse, the frustration is framed by a disagreement with a loved one who doesn’t have the same things to lose; asking, “What if it were me,” leveraging your personal relationship to try to get them to understand.
LUNA: The music video, directed and produced by Olivia Fleming and Kii Belling, contributes a lot to the narrative you have built for this song. With the contrast to cold and warm hues, references to innocence via child actors and the legend of King Arthur and the Excalibur, how did you guys come up with these visuals?
BRIDIE: Liv and I first started chatting about the video with reference to a few key images, like this filthyratbag drawing and a fire-engulfed dress. Working with Liv and Kii, the main aim was to create a subtle but incisive visual — not one that directly mimics the lyrics, but that expands on it. The narrative of the song has specific details in it, but in the video, the burning of the dress could symbolize a number of things; there’s space to project.
LUNA: The portrayal of you and your childhood self holding hands in unity as the gown burns is such a poetic message of healing and that behind every “promising young man” is someone of equal innocence. Since you were a young girl, how do you think our common culture has changed surrounding staying silent and tolerance in the post #MeToo world?
BRIDIE: I think people tend to overestimate our progress on this issue because they feel we’ve paid a certain amount of lip service to it, and now they’re bored of the issue. 45 women have been lost to violence in Australia this year and there’s been
little to no mainstream coverage or outrage. I also think people underestimate the impact that the weaponization of defamation suits have had on victim-survivors; there’s so much fear of retribution.
LUNA: What do you want your listeners to walk away feeling after listening to this single or watching the music video?
BRIDIE: If it’s an experience they identify with, I hope they know that their anger and their pain aren’t inconveniences — what happened to you matters. And if they’re someone who’s feeling a bit threatened or uncomfortable, then I’d just invite them to consider what it would be like to feel that every day of your life. Also, if you have time to re-read Dune for the third time, you have time to read a book by a woman.
LUNA: Lastly, do you have anything coming up you want current or future fans to be aware of?
BRIDIE: My producer Gab and I have been working on a couple songs that we’re really proud of, so I’m excited for people to hear those!
