Q&A: Maddie Jay Explores Complicated Nature of Growing Pains with “Gutterball”
☆ BY LISA VICTORIA ☆
Photos By Emil Ravelo
IT’S STRANGE TO THINK THAT OUR CHILDHOOD IS FULL OF INFLUENTIAL EXPERIENCES and can play a crucial role in who we become as we get older. However, the realization that some of those influential experiences can linger long enough to shape you into someone who you aren’t fully satisfied with, is far beyond just strange. Maybe it’s true that even after growing pains, you can still have pain from growing, and perhaps it’s not just physical anymore. At least that’s the vibe of Maddie Jay’s newest single, “Gutterball”.
Coming from a very musical family, Maddie Jay grew up in a small town called Smithersville that is located in British Columbia, Canada. When she was just five years old she was a member of a 100 person fiddle orchestra, however in her teen years, Jay decided to put down the fiddle to take up the bass. Unknowingly, that decision would lead her to where and who she is today. Now at 21, Maddie Jay is still that multi-instrumentalist, but now she is also known as a singer, songwriter, producer and overall a naturally gifted artist. Jay is someone who takes their time and pays close attention when creating her tunes, while simultaneously pouring her heart into them, to ultimately make and provide us with an overall delightfully energetic experience.
Even while Jay continuously works on her own projects, endeavors and is evidently unstoppable all on her own, she still manages to extend her talent to other artists, adding a layer of funk upon their own projects. Jay is also often on the road with artists such as Lorde, Summer Walker and Remi Wolf, playing as their bassist.
LUNA: Congrats on the release of “Gutterball”! How would you compare the feel of this new track to your previous music?
JAY: Thank you! This feels very different from my other music, just the energy of it. I have always been very careful to keep my music “chill” and listenable and with this track I literally said to myself “I do not want to chill anymore.” It’s kind of chaotic but I love it.
LUNA: Since your newest single “Gutterball” was written about certain patterns learned early on in your life and recognizing that they needed to be changed, could you talk a bit about those patterns, how they are affecting your way of life and your plan to unlearn them?
JAY: When I was growing up I felt very powerless in a lot of situations. I wasn’t very socially adept until late college and spent a lot of time desperately wanting to be included when I was younger. Now that I have a solid footing and a career and a wonderful community, I realized it was time to shake off those insecurities. I had to really unlearn the idea that there was something inherently wrong with me and I was baseline unlikeable.
LUNA: With that, why do you believe these patterns and your overall mindset of the world are needing to change in order for you to become the adult you’ve always aspired to be?
JAY: I realized that this deep-seated world view was affecting my ability to recognize how privileged and fortunate I am. I didn’t even realize I had the power to hurt people's feelings until much later in life, because I always saw myself as the underdog. This seeped into my artistry as well- I wasn’t able to feel totally comfortable and confident in my choices, and was always comparing and questioning. I feel like coming to terms with all this has made me a better person, friend and artist.
LUNA: With “Gutterball'' being such an important aspect of this realization you had, do you think that having these lyrics out in the world will help hold you accountable for this transition into who you want to become?
JAY: Haha! I hadn’t really thought about that, but I like the idea of being held accountable. Even just for myself. Songs are incredible little capsules of feelings that can’t be changed by retrospect or change of heart. They are fossils. I love that I can look back at this song and remember the headspace I was in when I wrote it.
LUNA: Writing lyrics or creating any work of art about personal feelings and thoughts usually is a very vulnerable thing, how do you combat that vulnerability? Or do you use it to further push your authenticity?
JAY: I honestly don’t think about it that much. I never imagine someone reading my lyrics and imagining the intimate details of my life. I always imagine the listener would superimpose the message onto their own life.
LUNA: What part of creating music do you feel most connected to?
JAY: This is always in flux, but currently I am very interested in melody and singing. When I made Gutterball I was deep in a drum and production phase.
LUNA: As an artist, do you notice that you and the work you create go through different phases throughout your career? Whether it be goals and aspirations or styles and sounds.
JAY: Definitely. I think it used to really worry me, like I had “made the wrong choice” with my career path or artistry. Now I just accept it all as a huge fluctuating art project with infinite facets.
LUNA: Keeping that in mind, do you think that you intentionally grow into these different phases or do you believe they happen naturally?
JAY: It’s like the seasons. Something that was right for you two years ago might not be right for you now. It’s all valid and real and useful. If you obsess over it too much you will only cause distress and pain for yourself.
LUNA: What can we expect from you in the upcoming months?
JAY: I’m on tour playing bass for some other artists right now (a season of my life!) but I am working on an LP behind the scenes. Hoping to have some more music from that out asap.
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