Q&A: Kayla DiVenere on Dating Yourself
FED UP WITH LACKLUSTER DATES — Kayla DiVenere decided to date herself. Navigating the trials and tribulations of young adulthood, the multi-hyphenate actress and musician expresses her experiences through her new music. Her last single, “Jumping The Gun,” details what it’s like to fall hard and fast for someone new, creating fantasies in your head before the first date. “Date Myself,” her newest track, is a girlboss self-love anthem for those who are over and done with the turn and burn of the modern dating scene.
The catchy, upbeat tune is sure to win crowds over. With an uplifting sound and lyrics easy to resonate with, DiVenere reminds her listeners to never settle.
The main phrase came from a conversation with her mom, in which DiVenere vented about dating disappointments. “Screaming it at the top of my lungs has comforted me more than any guy has,” she shares.
DiVenere’s hope is that “Date Myself” can comfort those who have found themselves in similar shoes. Read on below to learn more about DiVenere and her new music.
LUNA: Congrats on the recent release of “Date Myself.” Can you tell us a bit about the inspiration behind this next single and why it’s the perfect follow-up to “Jumping the Gun”?
DIVENERE: “I kinda wanna date myself” blurted out my mouth while ranting to my mom about all the horrible dates I've been on. I knew from the moment I said it out loud that it could be turned into an anthem for everyone going through the endless treacherous dating cycle of constantly being let down. I think “Date Myself” is a lot different than “Jumping the Gun” by embodying a lot more self-love [as opposed to] romantic love, which is why I thought it would be cool to put them out back to back.
LUNA: You mention that “Date Myself” is about owning your high standards and loving yourself — why is this message so important to share with your fans?
DIVENERE: I think it's so important to spend quality time with yourself, to get to know yourself better, and to understand who you really are. We are constantly growing and changing, experiencing new things, and evolving into new versions of ourselves. Being comfortable with being alone, bettering yourself as a person, and practicing self-love is honestly one of the bigger lessons I've learned this year. You are the only person you will be with forever, so building that relationship with yourself is crucial and honestly really beautiful.
LUNA: Can you walk us through the process of conception to completion for “Date Myself”?
DIVENERE: The process of writing this song was so seamless and low-pressure. I just went into the studio one day only knowing I wanted to write a song called “Date Myself,” and I guess that's all we needed, because the chords came within our first try and everything just felt so easy.
LUNA: Do you have a favorite lyric from this song?
DIVENERE: My favorite lyric is “I kinda wanna date myself.” It's so simple yet speaks volumes.
LUNA: Do you have a tried and true songwriting process?
DIVENERE: Most of my songs really do come from conversations with friends and family, like “Date Myself,” or random inspiration from movies, TV shows, or conflicts within my life. I try to keep it as real as possible and make music that I hope people can relate to. I try to always start with a strong concept and work my way around that with chords that feel cohesive with the feeling the concept gives me.
LUNA: How does being a multi-instrumentalist help with the songwriting process?
DIVENERE: If I'm ever in the middle of writing and get stumped, I always like to switch instruments to get fresh ears, and that usually always helps.
LUNA: Which instrument was the hardest to learn?
DIVENERE: The guitar was definitely the hardest to learn. Building calluses on my fingers was painful, and chord shapes can stretch your hands in weird ways.
LUNA: Which is your favorite to play?
DIVENERE: I love playing the piano mostly because it's the instrument I play the best and have known the longest. I also love how all the keys are laid out in front of you, unlike guitar, which is all squished together and a lot harder to conceptualize.
LUNA: What instrument would you like to learn next?
DIVENERE: I would love to fully dive into drums next. I think anyone automatically gains 10 coolness points from playing drums (laughs)!
LUNA: I 100% agree. What made you take the leap from the role of an actor to a musician? How was that transition time?
DIVENERE: I’ve been involved with music for as long as I can remember — I just never thought about it as a career until later. My dad was a drummer in his teen rock band and introduced me to so much classic rock at a young age. He always made it a point to show the power of music and how beautiful it is to play an instrument and be able to express yourself. He randomly brought home a piano when I was really little, and ever since then I never left the music world.
LUNA: How has your acting experience influenced you as a musician?
DIVENERE: Everything in the arts involves a lot of vulnerability and rejection, and acting really helped prime me by giving me thick skin.
LUNA: Where have you been drawing inspiration from lately?
DIVENERE: I've been drawing so much inspiration from The 1975 and Olivia Rodrigo. I love how relatable Olivia's concepts and titles are, and I love how classic The 1975's music feels.
LUNA: What do you do to recharge creatively?
DIVENERE: This is such a strange answer, but I try to find time to do nothing and become bored. I find I'm most creative when I'm alone in my room, bored out of my mind with no noise. My best ideas always arise from boredom, along with of course going out and experiencing life.
LUNA: What are you currently excited about in your creative endeavors?
DIVENERE: I'm honestly just so excited to be releasing music that's been living on my computer for a while. I'm always happiest on release day knowing that all my hard work is finally out into the world. Whoever's phone it lands into is fate, and that's that.
LUNA: What words of wisdom do you have for folks who are taking on the challenge and freedom of dating themselves?
DIVENERE: I really encourage everyone to stick it out with themselves and get to a point where hanging out with themselves is not scary and lonely but fulfilling and empowering.
