Q&A: Allison Ponthier Chases a Feeling on Her New EP 'Shaking Hands With Elvis'
NEXT STOP, HOLLYWOOD FOREVER CEMETERY — and a chat about what it means to be human. Allison Ponthier asks life’s hard questions and searches for answers in the past lives of her icons and herself. What does it mean to be alive, and how do you do it? Where do we go when we die and what remains? When you enter the afterlife, will you be greeted by cultural icons?
Life, as Ponthier sings it, is a journey that doesn’t end when we pass away. To live a fulfilling existence is to be remembered, but there are limits to that remembrance. She touches upon late inspiration Elvis to explore the otherness of celebrities and pick apart the pitfalls of fame. How does one separate the person from the legend?
In the EP, she goes on a journey of life, death, the afterlife, and everything in between. Revel in the beauty of searching for more in a world that sets up roadblocks and dead ends along the way. Start from square one with “Autopilot,” find yourself “Chasing A Feeling,” experience the “Hardcore” parts of life, visit “Hollywood Forever Cemetery,” find out what it is to be a “Late Bloomer,” and meet the end with “Shaking Hands With Elvis,” as you’re intricately connected to those who lived before you.
The EP is about where we go, who we’ve been, how we get there, and what stays the same. Shaking Hands With Elvis is available now wherever you get your music.
Read 1824 of Universal Music Group’s virtual press conference as Ponthier discusses all things EP-related. Luna had a chance to ask questions, learn about Ponthier’s relationship with the songs, and hear more about the artistic inspirations behind the album.
1824: You moved from what you call the Bible Belt of Texas to Brooklyn without any friends or ties, and you’ve said that sparked some inspiration for you artistically, but I’m curious, what would you say is your biggest lesson overall that you’ve learned from that move?
PONTHIER: I would say that there are two lessons I learned, and they kind of seem counterintuitive but they're very similar. One is that affirming healthcare and having a very supportive environment for an LGBTQ person is really that important because I've come out and I did feel safe to come out and moved to New York. I think that being somewhere where you feel safe in yourself is a priority, and safety is always the number one priority when someone comes out. So that was a huge lesson to me because I didn't realize how much it would affect my quality of life, to feel I was in a place that had more queer people in it. The other thing, which feels counterintuitive to what I just said, is that moving away from somewhere and starting new will not just fix all your problems. You really do have to do the work to unlearn a lot of the things you picked up in a place that was maybe not safe for you or you have bad memories near it. I love Texas and I'm glad that I'm from there, but also when I moved, I thought it would fix everything, so you really got to do that as well.
1824: I read in past interviews that you mentioned a lot of random jobs that you picked up to support yourself when you first moved to New York. Which was your favorite? Or which one influenced you the most later on?
PONTHIERr: My favorite and probably the one that influenced me the most was social media for the Museum of Natural History in New York. First, I just have to be honest, it's nothing like Night at the Museum. The layout is different. I was very shocked to find that out, but I loved it because I got to draw a lot. I drew for Snapchat stories and flyers and things like that. But also, I got to spend a lot of time around the dioramas there and something about them artistically really influenced me. I love the painted backdrops, which we did a lot in “Cowboy" and in “Faking My Own Death.” I just think visually it's a very beautiful place. And it was hilarious for me to work in an office. I had never worked in an office and didn't realize that there were unspoken rules. I showed up wearing the worst thing possible every day and taking notes on a notepad instead of a computer. The job taught me a lot.
1824: If you could give your younger self just one piece of advice, what would it be? What did your younger self need to hear the most?
PONTHIER: I think that if I could say anything to my younger self, it would probably be something along the lines of telling them what the world is like outside of the bubble that I experienced when I was growing up. I don't just mean in terms of diversity either, even though that's extremely important, and knowing that other queer people exist would have really helped. I think that for me I really thought life started and ended with the opinions of my hometown, and to know that there are so many ways you can live and still be happy is important. I think that as a queer person, that's something that a lot of people can relate to is not realizing that you can be queer and happy, but I think even in terms of my career I’ve had this weird pull to do this for a long time. I have no idea why I was so lucky that it worked out, but sometimes trusting your gut and waiting is the best thing you can do.
1824: As a fellow ADHDer, how do you work with your superpower to create music? Do you use it to your advantage when you're writing?
PONTHIER: I think that with ADHD, a lot of people can reclaim their experiences by calling it a superpower. For me, I would not change anything about myself. I would not take it away — it's part of who I am, it's shaped who I am, and I think sometimes it can be a superpower. I think it's a superpower in the sense that if I didn't have it, I would be totally different. I've really grown to love myself, especially recently. Songwriting-wise, I think that it helps because I love songwriting so much. It's such a big interest for me that when I'm writing, it's only the things that really stick and really make me excited that make me want to continue writing the song. It's made me express things in different ways. I think that the way that I am visually, I'm really, really into music videos and visual storytelling in songs. I think that that's a pure ADHD moment. ADHD has empowered me to celebrate and love the different ways to express myself through art. I don't know if that's too big, but it is in the fabric of who I am as a person, and literally everything about me would be totally different if I didn't have it and I don't want to be different.
1824: Specifically, your track “Chasing A Feeling” was inspired by your ADHD, and I love what you said about the positive aspects of it. Are there any pitfalls for you, because I know with me my ADHD can either be the fuel and inspiration for songwriting or it can stop the train in its tracks. I just wanted to know for that one or in general, has it created any roadblocks for you?
PONTHIER: I mean, I think that's the whole problem with ADHD. The world is not designed for a brain that functions the way my brain does. It absolutely can stop me in my tracks sometimes, but what has helped me a lot… Sometimes I write by myself, but a lot of times I write with my friends. I think writing with people I love and care about has helped me a lot because if I get too in my head about something, if I feel like I'm hitting a wall, one of my co-writers can easily just say one thing that gets the train back on track. I'm appreciative of co-writers, and I want to be the kind of artist who talks about the actual process of writing a song because I am really in charge of writing, but I would be wrong to say that I don't do it with people I love and care about. Also, ADHD-wise, I feel like I was diagnosed late because I shouldered the burden of it for a long time and so no one intervened to say, “Hey, maybe she's having a hard time.” But now that I've been diagnosed, I know how to work with it a lot more. I think that for me, knowing when I'm getting irritable or [knowing when] my sensory issues are overwhelming really helps me take a second to step back and put on noise-canceling headphones or check on how I'm feeling in the moment. I think that that's why awareness and understanding yourself is the key to overcoming those difficult moments because they're there.
1824: Can you describe your ideal working environment? Is there a place where you feel most creative and productive?
PONTHIER: I don't think I've ever been asked this before, so I really love this question. My ideal working environment… I very much am introverted, but recently I found out that something that I love about my job is that I get to work with other people. I really do thrive having one or two people around me that I love and care about to … when I'm feeling down on myself or stuck, we can assess it together. Whether it's a corridor or a producer or I'm helping direct a music video, I think doing it with people you care about is the best way to be kind to yourself through the process. But just in terms of the physical environment, I love a place that's open: not very loud and not a lot of sensory distractions with a lot of light, and a place where we can take a break and do something fun. And I love it when people have studio pets. I’m obsessed with the emotional support studio. I'm a very simple person I think, and I love focusing on the task at hand in a calm, open environment.
1824: The title track off the EP is about the loss of your friend. Did you find that writing the song helped you process that loss?
PONTHIER: Yeah, absolutely. When I found out, I lost my friend, and when we wrote that song it had been a week or a little over a week and I had not processed it at all. I had no idea what to do and I felt sad and lost. It was my first real loss like that. I think that when you grow up you imagine people passing away when they're a lot older. It's still awful, but this was so sudden that it was shocking. When I wrote the song, I didn't want to write the song at all. I came in to write with some of my friends and I wanted to write a totally different song. I remember I pitched like five different songs that I thought I might want to write and none of them felt quite right. And then I was flipping through my little notebook and months ago I had written “Shaking Hands With Elvis,” because I thought it was an interesting euphemism for death. And as soon as I flipped to it, I was like, “Oh no, I have to write this song," because it felt the most involved in my life. When we started writing it, it was very easy to write in the sense that I had so much to say, but it was hard to write in the sense that it was something that I wasn't great at talking about. The song, to me, really did help me process it because I had never processed it before. And to be honest, it still really hurts, but when I did my headline shows, “Shaking Hands With Elvis” was my favorite part of the set. I was singing in front of everyone and it made me feel kind of brave in a way. Even if I didn't put it out, it would still be my favorite song I've ever made because it had a real-life purpose for me.
1824: As a follow-up to that, on Instagram you wrote that this EP is about screaming your weaknesses so loud that they become your strengths. How did writing the EP help you grow as a person and as an artist?
PONTHIER: I think that this EP shows a lot of growth, especially in contrast with my last one. I'm proud of Faking My Own Death, but this one I feel like I took more risks. I'm writing about things that are a little bit harder to write about. When I think about what direction I want to go in like five or 10 years, I constantly think about what is the through line between what I'm really attracted to. And a lot of times it's about myself. It's about identity, and a big part of your identity is acknowledging your faults and weaknesses, so … in my real life, I've noticed that saying your problems out loud can be more relieving and empowering than being like, “I'm so great, I'm incredible. I'm an amazing person.” You take that power away, so that's what I'm proud of in the EP because it's something that has taken me a long time to do.
1824: With death being a present theme in your music, if you could sing alongside one famous musician who has passed on, who would it be?
PONTHIER: Probably Cass Elliot because in a lot of my music I talk about people that weren't treated well when they were alive. I think she's one of the most beautiful and iconic voices. I would love to talk to her and get to know her. I would hope she would see how many die hard stans she has of her nowadays.
1824: When I was listening to the EP, I saw a connection between “Hollywood Forever Cemetery” and “Shaking Hands With Elvis.” Both comment on celebrities, about even in death being a caricature or an icon of themselves rather than a person. But then in “Shaking Hands With Elvis,” you find comfort in that of Elvis as an icon. How did you connect these two songs?
PONTHIER: In the music video for “Hollywood Forever Cemetery,” we had an Elvis character — obviously he was like a larger-than-life kind of animal version of Elvis, like a poodle Elvis. I think a lot about camp. It’s a very important theme in my work. And camp is a larger-than-life representation of who people are, so I'm constantly thinking about the line between camp and then being respectful as, you know, two people that are objectified often. [With] “Shaking Hands With Elvis,” I really just came from the euphemism, “shaking hands with Elvis.” To me, it's not so much talking about Elvis as it is talking about an afterlife that kind of resembles a rhinestone Graceland kind of thing. I talk a lot about my friend because he was a piano player and he played a lot of music, so it's more about him being in a band in the afterlife. But I spend a lot of my time thinking about the line between an icon and someone that's objectified. For example, “Hollywood Forever Cemetery” is about Mama Jean. Well, we mentioned her in it and I think now that I'm doing this job, and it's so early in my career, it's weird to see how maybe I also have been objectified by people that were once close to me. And I think that's why I'm so attracted to the idea of the line between celebrity and person. The two songs, however, I think that they’re intentionally connected because we did put Elvis in the music video and he and Marilyn Monroe are icons in a similar sense.
1824: I have one more question just about songwriting in general. I always felt like, in any writing, the more specific you are, the more it resonates with people. But a lot of people sometimes think that generalizations resonate. Because it's kind of universal, I just wanted to know: what's your concept of this?
PONTHIER: I think everyone is different, but for me, I love writing about details. I love it. I can't get enough of it. I think it's because when I'm listening to music hearing really specific details of: Where were we? What were we feeling? Was it a Tuesday night? Were we at a gas station? I think that’s what hooks me onto a song is to be taken along for a ride. I think that movies are similar. We can watch a movie and it's totally not our life at all, but we can still feel so much and relate so much to the protagonist in a movie. I really want my songs to be like mini movies. Maybe it's not your exact story, but because it's not your exact story and can relate to the feeling so well. It's more about the emotion that it's similar to than the situation. To me, it's like a movie — when I watch Ladybird, maybe my feelings aren't exactly the same, I'm not like in the same school and everything, but I can relate to the feeling of wanting to change yourself or feeling out of place.
LUNA: The tracklist seems to tell a story about the chronology of life, death, and the afterlife, where milestones of growth, change, and hope are imminent. Is this song order intentional or purely circumstantial? And if intentional, what is the reasoning behind it?
PONTHIER: It is intentional. Every time I need to come up with the order of the songs it is a painstaking process, not because I'm a genius or anything just because I literally care about every detail so much, and also, that's how I like to listen to music. I like to listen to music in order. I knew I wanted to open up with “Autopilot” because “Autopilot” felt like the most at the beginning of my journey. Out of all of the songs, it felt like how I felt in that part of my life, and “Shaking Hands With Elvis” felt like the most evolved version of myself, someone that is willing to process things that they don't understand and think on a different plane. I just turned 25 like a year ago and my brain feels like it has become an adult finally, but that's basically the process — like, “Autopilot” really does feel like the anger and resentment I had toward being different and screaming it out loud in a rebellious way. Then, “Shaking Hands With Elvis” feels like I've been through so many things since my “Autopilot” days, and things will still happen, difficulties will still arise, but I can overcome them through dealing with them in my own special way. And a lot of these songs were written [recently] — like, for example, “Hollywood Forever Cemetery” was written about two years ago. “Shaking Hands With Elvis” was my most recent song, so it feels like the right note to end on. I also think that the outro of “Shaking Hands With Elvis” was the perfect way to end the EP, because it feels like the period at the end of the sentence.
LUNA: In a lot of ways, the EP feels like an intimate conversation with a close friend about a difficult yet transformative time in his life. With this in mind, what's the main message you want listeners to walk away with after experiencing it in full?
PONTHIER: When I set out to write [the EP], I didn't know what the theme was going to be. I just write songs. I never am like, “I want to write a song for this,” or “I want to write a song for this.” It's always about what feels the best to write in that time because they don't want to limit myself. And I think the best songs come from true feelings and the energy behind going through something. When I collected all these songs together that represented the period of my life that I wanted to represent in the EP, I realized that the through line was overcoming your own shortcomings or overcoming your own perceived weaknesses. For me, I like people to take away from the EP that there is something interesting, fulfilling, and celebratory about talking about things you struggle with, or your weaknesses, or your own faults. There's a lot of songs out there about other people, which I also love. You know, I love, love songs. I love talking about an ex that wronged you. There's nothing more cathartic, but to me the most cathartic thing is talking about yourself, and I don't know if that'll ever change for me.
1824: If you could describe your music in three words, or as existing artists, to someone who has never listened to it before, how would you describe it?
PONTHIER: I would say some existing artists. I would say John Cryan, but maybe a little more pop. And then in terms of three words, I would say “country,” obviously, and then I would say maybe “organic” because I use a lot of band instruments in my songs like real piano, real guitar, and real drums.
1824: Is there an element that you like that carries into your artistic direction within your craft?
PONTHIER: Yeah, so, I really, really love movies. I’m a big movie person. I specifically love sci-fi B movies from the ’60s and ’70s because people were pouring money into these alternative universes that I feel like we don't really see as much now. People were hand-making different planets and crazy costumes and getting inventive with what they thought the future might look like, so I really love that period. I'm also a huge Broadway fan, and I love how real everything can feel even when the sets are not always super realistic, so I'm inspired by that as well. Visually, I get a lot of my inspiration from things that have a lot of heart behind them but are also pretty DIY. I love B movies, I love off-Broadway musicals, things like that.
1824: Since you expressed yourself in so many ways like more than this music: drawing, Claymation clothing. How do you feel these other creative outlets like art and fashion connect to your music?
PONTHIER: I think that being an artist is so many more things than what I thought it was. At first, I thought, “Oh, I’ll start doing music full-time, it'll be 90% music, 10% everything else,” but it's really 20 jobs in one, which is good for me because I love it. I love making music. I love putting together a shoot or putting together a music video. I love doing this; I love talking to people. What I love about it is wearing a bunch of different hats, and I can't tell you how much me experimenting with a bunch of different artistic things has helped us in every way when it comes to making a video or putting together an album cover. I love to draw. I'll draw an example of what I want a photo to look like before we do it. When we did the “Hardcore” photoshoot — which, “Hardcore” is a song, I realized that sounds very bad — but when we did the photoshoot, I photoshopped a table with kids at it, I photoshopped makeup onto myself. I did the exact composition I wanted for the photo and I do that for almost every cover. It helps so much because I can communicate better when it comes to video editing. I edit a lot of my social media videos. I helped edit the “Hell Is A Crowded Room” visualizer. When it comes to color, I'm constantly talking to whoever is doing the coloring and making adjustments on my own. I love every step of the process including the non-music parts and if I didn't know how to do it before, I think everything would look and feel very different, so I'm just glad that I have a lot of interests and hobbies.
1824: You recently opened for Bleachers to help kick off their tour, including a show in your home state of Texas. What was that experience like for you?
PONTHIER: I was actually really nervous to play Dallas because I hadn't done it in this way before. Any other time I played in Dallas it was like singing on a jazz game with my dad or not as many people in a Southside Ballroom. But I was nervous, I think I was nervous because I didn't know if anyone was going to show up for me. I wasn't out the last time I played in Dallas, so it was kind of an old habits kind of thing. I was nervous. Essentially, this is me performing as myself for the first time, in more ways than one. All that aside, it was the best show on the Bleachers tour because my family was there, people were so excited that it was a hometown show, and I had the most fun performing. Performing, I think, once you stop thinking about all the little things you need to do, you just start having fun. That's when it becomes the best job ever and that was what that night felt like. It really felt like I was supported, and I could let go and have fun. Bleachers is such a great band because Jack is the head of the Ally Coalition, and so at every show, they had a different LGBTQ organization that you could benefit. And for me, it was Dallas Hope Charities, who I already worked with, and they were at the show, so it was great to meet them and perform for them and raise some money for them.
1824: How did your start in studying jazz vocals influence your sound now?
PONTHIER: I went to UNP for a year and a half. I did the vocal jazz program there and I think that doing that fully changed my life as a musician. I became so much better of a technical musician and it was my first intro playing with other people. When I first got there, I was like, “Wow, I really need to stay at my game. Everyone here is an incredible musician.” It forced me to go outside of my comfort zone and play with more people, especially people that were much better than me. Also, my ears are so much better now that I've studied jazz, which is a very technical skill. Now, I would say the things that benefit me the most are really understanding how much music as a community can impact how much fun it is to make and how to keep going. Having a music community in college was a huge reason why I had so much confidence and energy to keep pursuing it. Even when I was feeling insecure about other things in my life, the community was really the best.
1824: I know you've said in interviews before that you're always looking to grow, so what can fans expect from you next?
PONTHIER: As I continue writing music, I'm always pushing myself to try new styles, especially when thinking about touring. I always think, "What would this be like to play live?” I always want to make more music that pushes me when I am on stage to perform harder and to distinguish things that are more difficult live. But to be honest, my goal always when I'm writing is to write things that are even more sensitive, and to surprise my own self. I don't know, when you write something, you really love it — sometimes it feels like you didn't write it and you just love it because it exists and you're proud of yourself. And I'm always chasing that feeling.
1824: After touring with Bleachers and doing your headline shows, what has been your favorite part about playing these songs in front of an audience?
PONTHIER: I think the best part about performing is interacting with the crowd. I was terrified to interact with the crowd when I first started playing, but now I'm realizing it's the best. It's the best part. I started my project in 2021 and it was in the middle of the pandemic, so I didn't really get to interact with people around my music that much. But when I'm playing and someone’s holding up a sign and I get to talk to them, or I see people singing in the audience and I get to sing with them, it's the best part. I mean, it's why I’m there, and it’s hopefully why they're there as well. And on the Bleachers tour, I was really amazed to see how incredible and interactive and sweet and thoughtful all of their fans were. Their fans welcomed me with open arms, and I saw some of them multiple times as they were traveling to go to the shows, and they were singing my songs too. I'm really grateful for how fun and talkative and game all of their fans were
1824: How would you like to be remembered as an artist?
PONTHIER: Ok wow, that’s a giant question. I would really like to be remembered as someone who didn't let outside influences affect me. Honestly, there's a lot of work that goes into everything that I make — the videos take so long, the songs take a long time. There's a lot of effort and love that goes into it and I really want people to know that it's from me. These are accurate depictions of my life. I'm not writing to try to impress certain groups of people. This is a diary in a sense, and if I'm remembered for one thing, it's never compromising that.
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