McCall ‘On Self Loathing’ + Interview
☆ By FRANCES SCOTT☆
MCCALL MERGES BEAUTIFUL SOUND AND POP DREAMLAND. Based in LA, McCall’s upcoming EP ON SELF LOATHING brings a sonic edge to listeners’ ears. The EP, coming September 18, is a plethora of emotion, calling to mind the project’s title. The artist’s musical study on self-love, or lack thereof, captures feelings of loneliness and self-deprecation in addition to offering an escape; such as tracks “NOTHING EVEN WRONG” and “ONE EYE OPEN” from the EP do.
Beginning with “NOTHING EVEN WRONG,” the listener is immediately greeted by heavenly vocals, followed by an upbeat track. McCall Kimball, known simply as McCall, gracefully weaves together modern sound and real emotion, straying from convention. “WILL YOU EVER GO AWAY,” second in line, starts softer and builds as the song unfolds, making it impossible not to keep listening. McCall’s soul burns brightly through the EP.
“ONE EYE OPEN” can’t be passed up. As is each song on the project, “ONE EYE OPEN” is particularly special. The song is sweeter – beautiful. It’s real. It’s poetic, like the final song – “DISASTER.” There’s an untold confidence to “DISASTER,” the perfect note to end on.
Listen for yourself to see what confidence sounds like. We were able to chat with McCall about ON SELF LOATHING and more – read below to find out more about the creation of this EP, TikTok and her musical process.
LUNA: What lyric are your most proud of from this project?
KIMBALL: “I shout my ailments to the end of a small suburban town. I’ll get what I want, choking on the silver in my mouth.” From “Disaster.” I love the phrasing of it. It’s a bouncy, cute couplet, but it’s so bitter. It’s also about myself, so I don’t feel bad saying it out loud. I wanted to use the phrase “silver spoon” in the song somewhere, but I’m glad I dropped the “spoon” because I like the visual of someone’s mouth just overflowing with silver – if silver was actually mercury and was all liquidy and such.
LUNA: Your music touches on a lot of personal subjects and shows a vulnerable side of yourself. IS it ever difficult to share such a raw side of yourself with the world?
KIMBALL: YES!
LUNA: Musical or not, what are some key influences that shaped the flow of On Self Loathing?
KIMBALL: I had the title “A Study on Self-Loathing” for a while before I started writing the project. I felt like such a clinical title deserved a very thorough analysis, and that mindset shaped how I thought about the project going forward. I was combing through all my insecurities, flaws and past actions for research (I told myself). So, it was easier to be critical. I felt like a doctor observing my mind fight itself rather than being the one doing the fighting. Sonically, Bobby is a wizard. I believe he was pulling inspiration from George Clanton and Von Iver’s “i,i,” but we didn’t ever meet in person until about a week ago. So, I’m not sure what he was up to. Haha!
Photo By Lucy Blumenfield
LUNA: You’ve been featured on a couple of EDM tracks lately that have done really well. Though out of your typical sound, I imagine the process was still just as fun. What role has collaboration played in your career?
KIMBALL: Collaboration has given me a career. Working with Grant, who then introduced me to the Monstercat crew, has been such a blessing. It’s a good way for me to step outside of myself because it’s a different ball game. Every producer has their own world that they’ve built with their bare hands, and I feel lucky to be invited into those worlds. I put on a different character when I’m writing for other people, and it’s very freeing.
LUNA: Your music has been able to tap into the world of TikTok, which is awesome! How do you feel about the impact TikTok is starting to have on the musical industry?
KIMBALL: As a musician, I think it’s a pretty fleeting and fickle beast. As a TikTok user, I absolutely love it. It’s my favorite waste of time.
LUNA: What do you want your listeners to take away from your music?
KIMBALL: It’s okay to not feel an exorbitant amount of positive self-love at all times. I like the dark parts of myself. I like the melodrama as much as I’m embarrassed by it. It’s okay to take a moment to be like, “Hey, I’ve kind of been acting like a piece of shit – not cool.” It can be humbling and keep you from judging other people who are acting like pieces of shit, ‘cause they’re probably just going through it, too. But I hope people realized that I used this EP as a way to release all of these feelings, and I wrote it while going to therapy. I’m not walking around all sad or angry all the time, and I don’t think self-loathing is cute or tragically beautiful or any of that. It’s not cute or fun to hate yourself, and insecurity is boring. I was just sick of feeling like a victim, so the only way I could think to get over the “You hurt me, woe is me” feeling was to look at myself and the ways I was hurting myself instead.
LUNA: Despite things being up in the air, you’ve still been able to move forward with new music – props to you! What do you hope the rest of 2020 brings you?
KIMBALL: A new president – please vote! If you’re mailing in, your new date to vote is October 20, not November 3. Also, I’m excited to see my mom tomorrow!
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